The Brawling Continues

Mine Liegelord,

Many days hence hath I spent in the subterranean catacomic chambers ’neath the eternally snowedin citie of Bluffsied. Their sewers I have grown rather fond of and am now quite familiar with. It seems slavers, captives, and dark rituals are the dailie order of business hyre. We have rescued a fair soul nymph like akin unto mineself. I will have to get to know her more and find where she has learned her talents. Mayhaps she knows of Ichae and Master. Regardless there is perhaps much I can learn from her, the first thing will have to be her name. One battle followed another and there wast barely time to breathe let alone socialyze. I am finding mine ability to walk upon walls themselvs a most intriguing and valuable trait to have. Today alone I have evaded a lava poole by traversing the cavern walls. It seems also of note that the partie hath dubbed me thine flashlight for mine vision is of sufficynt keenessitude to be able to spot nye unto any prowler that might approacheth. In quite a number of instances I have even been carried like unto a sultan hither and tither in order that I might be able to see into the depths the others perceptions might not penetrate. I fear I am drifting a bit afield from thine purpose of this military missive and must return shortly to thine reportingst of what yonder ville foes we doth encountereth.

Chief among the sinistrae stumbled upon is a creature Giant in stature built with a stinging tail of a collassial scorpione. The woeful beast was fashioned from bone and had about it a great and terrifying aura. Truly a frightening demon to behold. Fate fell fortuitously in our favor for we were able to pierce its mighty defenses with some opportune, well timed strikes to apparently vital and critical areas upon the beast. With nigh a mind of their own mine daggers too doth seek the infernal blood that hartily coursed through the diabolic veins of our gargantuan host. I also wish to report sire that as good a diplomat as I am, even I cannot negotiate with fire. Wizards on the other hand I have found it best to let my hand swords do their own talking. Approaching from the rear where one least suspects makes a good “enterance” for “heartfelt” conversation. I feel I could really “reach out” to my fellow diplomats this way. Today was a most unusual day for all the while we were fighting demons and other ungodly foes I felt a presence. This presence seemed to continually be watching me only rarely did its presence stray. Though as hard as I could look or hear never once did I see or hear anything, yet still I will swear to you there was something or someone watching mine every move. I could not escape the gaze of this ghostly apparition whatever it might be. Stay tuned sire I fear more nefarity is yet afoot.

Until my next missive, I am as always Your humble, lowly, contrite, not at all arrogent nor haughty, dedicated and most loyal servant,


They left me!

Mine liege of greatest greatness,

A request I must ask of you sire, It seems that the rudymentree flyckre of a spark my former master and his discyple Ichae left me with has grown these many months. I finde myselph being able to do new things I knew not even that I was able. I will explain in a moment. Sire, as you very well know even in your courtly presence I was most unkeen towards water. It seems sire that goblinry are hyrdophobic expecially true since mere days (I think it is days, for all time and space are blending toegether in a most wretched fashion underground with no doors and so few windows) anon I found myselph contemplaiting yon insides of a pair of warring hyrae. I suspect that theyre jealosee, one head of the othyr caused them to eat each other, but I sir was far too caught up in the situation to allow myself caught up in their situation, as such I flead the sciine sire. Most fortunate I was too for forthwith I re-encountered my lost comrades, and was reakwainted our lost “multi-talented” and most ninja-like lady myne eyes have never seen, Suki. Aparently she was off doing some agressive negotiations of here own. This said, our last peradventure was most peculiar. Sounds were heard off in the distance the party rushed off, though I am swift of foot, and even swifter of thought, especially of the rumors I have heard of others of mine goblin kine, I am woefully short of stature and most despized of water. FOr it was naught but water water deeper than any proper goblin ocean water and somewhat clean water too fetid as it was….

Here sire is the message I wish you relay to mine teachers if you have the proper chance. Force sheilds float. If cast upon the ground a force sheild will float upon the water and makes a most lovely goblin sized raft. This too can be propeled by any of the hand weapons, at hand so to speak. I sire was stuck on a raft while there was a bit of a fiasco involing ropes, currents, and apparently invisible enemies too. Our party hath learned in such cases to shoot where the water isn’t for there the enemy likely is. More explorations shall be forthwith and I shall inform you of any and all upcoming golbin invasions. I will see if I can join their ranks. Tee hee a triple agent I shall be. Neither golbin nor kobold but loyal only to thee.

Until we may yet meet again.
The lord of many titles and adventures, diplomatic emissary of his highness, lord Newt and so forth and so on.

How things have faered

Mine Liege,

It seems I wath not thine only one to have been temporarilie beside myself. All is not right with tyme ande space. Several members of our partie hath befallen strange magycal poortals they transport you to other times and places. The assualts by the minotaurie have grown increasingly. All varieties have I behled. The latest incarnation involved bloody magic wielders and sewer inhabiting hydra minotaur. We sire have also donne our part in the eratification of local mouse-pestes. One final note Sire, your diplomatic training has served me in the highest fashione I have made a temporarie and fleeting aliegience with a kobold king. This alignment is proving most valuable as I have been able to extort a guide from him. His terms, I wage war on mine own kinfolk the goblin clans of the North. It was most easie to get hym to believe me. Only time will tell whether I wage war on mine goblinkind or upon his filthy greenskin (?) (Cursed color impercetions!)head. As always Sire I will keep you well informed.

The many titled and well endowed noble and humble servant Newt.

A Moste Unfortunat Missive

Dearest Sire,

I regret to inform you that I, your humble servante Newt may have been compromized. Something terribal and nefarious is at foot. I doth not even remember mine actions. It seems as though my very thoughts were controlled by a far off power. I assure you sire I was in control enough of my thoughts to divulge none of your secrets. However, I am in no wize certain of mine actions. For all I know I may have lit a table on fire or given it a frightful cold. I think at at least one moment I was surrounded but even of this I am as I sayed in no wize certain. Sire I assure you with all of mine heart that I will seek out and destroy this diverting power. Its wraith shall not trouble yon kingdom. It shall not happen again. Moreover, there is no one better than a psion to hunt down meddlers of yon mind. I will find the source of such power and I am still faithful to you even if not in my right mind.

Yours always, your faithful servante,


What Pain doth yonder city face?

After the most glorious of sleeps on a bed of the appropriate sizing, albeit smelly, we decided that we were too close to the supposed deadline of nasty business in the city so our fearless ninja-who-denies-the-title convinced us that we’d better be there before everything went kablooey. Fortunately none of the starved, recently-freed slaves thought it worth-while to lighten my load and I was free to not track them down and give them horrible headaches. Small blessings, though I suspect the one who stuck around and sought to join our group of misfits might have had something to do with it. From the brief glimpse I got of the group he’s the only much smarter than myself, which really isn’t much of a feat.

At any rate bad things were already happening once we returned. The silly people already found themselves short a handful of citizen with no trace of where they may have been spirited away to. Oh goodie. I just hope none of them go all undead because beating zombie with a face you recognize makes the conscience squirm. At any rate, after the more inquisitive types sated their curiosity upon the high-priestess at the temple we forged out to attempt some offensive to attempt to delay some of the nasty business going on.

Which led us right back to where we had just left… I just love circles. Especially glowing ones… that are guarded… by undead minotaurs… in dead ends… at a bad guys base. Gee, this is going to get fun real quick. _

Status Report

To my Honored Masters may the light fall upon your efforts, but not too well!

Our last fight was nearly my last as a hulking brute of a slaver did almost hammer me flat with a weapon which you must forgive me if I cannot recall clearly. I came to myself in a crude cell amonst other captives who had awoken me with a powerful healing draught which had recalled me from Death’s very doorstep. The slavers sorely underestimated me though because they had not taken my weapons or gear from me and I was able to loose a powerful Fae Magic-wielder who had been imprisoned as well. The Fae turned the tables upon our captors and with aid from my other companions brought them low. At my behest we cease to pursue the cleric of Tal-Sherit as the time was drawing near to the ceremony of the demon-slaves and I was most uneasy to leave the townsfolk to fend for themselves. This course showed it’s wisdom when six of the townfolk went missing and the town-guard could find no trace of them, as I write these words we have bested a montrous beast of blood and bone shaped like a minotaur, oddly enough excepting the fight with the slavers all of our last combats have been against such beasts. Why do the gods delight in testing us against such uncouth creatures?

Sleep and a new pen

Sire I have but a moment to write this missive, as such I must dispence temporarillie with mine usual formalities. I hath akwired a new kwill and parchment during our last stay over. I am afraide the prisoner entrusted our charge hath escaped. We are doing oure best to reapprehend the suspect but he hath a faire lead upon us. Moreover something nefarious is a foot. I am writting this in an interlude in a battle, with of all things an undead minotaur garding a portent laden portal of sorts. Time spirals unbearablie neigh unto a collisione course bringing our destinies into conflict with a very dark ritual involving much sacrifyce. We arth trying stop such an assemblage, but it is proving to be a daunting task. I must be going. I will explain a bit more about the fascinating armors I have uncovered at a later date for now I hath other mosters in which bitter battel I am embroiled.


June 22

We’d finally gotten back to town and I was looking forward to some good sleep in our posh chambers when the rest of the group got all riled up about some missing foreigner who was locked up as prisoner. I guess it’s some foreign militant who was attacking where he ought not to and they’re taking him to some king or other.

Despite missing some much needed rest I was more than willing to practice my second craft, which required hunting down the escapee and his accomplice(s), which proved easy enough. Surprisingly enough I was among the best trackers in the group. I suppose living in the wilds by oneself teaches you a thing or two.

Anyways, the trail led to a cave system wherein we found some slavers who turned out more cunning than we anticipated. The sneaky ninja nearly sneaked herself six feet under but I guess slavers like living victims, or should I say merchandise. We proved more expensive than they could afford and we took the remaining debt from their flesh. The poor shaman completely lost it, which sure made him more scary but I still think I’ll stick with more refined craft, though it may bare some looking into. In the right setting a little out-of-control could be just what the metal needs.

I almost felt bad for the last guy who went down. Turns out one of their captives had some magic forged within him and didn’t take to kindly to being property. Soon as the barely conscious ninja set him free he cut the poor slaver off from sight and sound, making the final fight more of a slaughter, but helpless evil is still evil. Back to the forge with him.

The Morn

On this the morn of the Xth day of NOAC I rite unto thee:

Dear Syre,

I will try to keep thys letter brief. I am running low on ink. It seems I spilled much of it before I had completed mine ritings. There were some rather humorous events of the evening last for which I wath too tired to compose which should however be mentioned here.

Our partie hath been on the road for quite some tyme as is evidenced by the following dialogue I am uncertain of whom to atribut it unto:

“I forgot my weapons could do that…”
“What, attack?”

It caused much mirth amongst our partie. An interesting note to report to the sages at home: If only a portion of an invisibilitie potion is llapped up one’s tongue doth become tranparent. I would not advise licking a used potion once spilled. Its effects are reduced and one is quite likely to cut one salivary lapping organ.

Being well rested and not yet seen any adventure for the day it is a bit before the others have awoken I thought I would continue relating some of our parties more humorous mis and pro haps. The oracle of fate our partie hath included hath learned the spell bless, as well as an extensive profishyncie in dooming thyngs. If I am not mistaken I believe he hath doomed so manie subjects that his bladded walking stick has caught onto thy trick and hath began dooming thyngs of its own accord. Regardless it was of much hilaritie that said doom obsessesd master hath blessed a cockroah. I hath never seen one of thy little friends glowing so brytlie or so happilie.

Master thre are some notes about those surrounding us which I thought you should be ware of. One should not attempt to climb an enraged barbarian it is not a pleasant experience, do not triffle with a timelord. When one mixes an arcane fireball with thrayon he actually smells quite nice, for an orc, though it was much too pleasant for the refined stench prefered by mineself. It reminded me all too much of mine encounters in Norgalth.

After much discussion we hath decided that it myght be behooving of yon mages to develop a spell something akin to ray of sustenence. Finally, your hyghnes there was one piece of grafity found deep within thy caves that we thought perhaps you might be able to interpret.


I know not what these strange symbols mean.

Yours as always,
Lord Newt-Initiate of the empowered hand, disciple of Ichae and his Master protector of the realm, master of gaming, emissary to all lands, slayer of small goblin like draggons, bane of devils, pursuer of evils etc etc.

A Very Long Day

Dearest Syre Principalitie Electorate Zxrmmmmmmmmn,

Fyrstlie I must beg your appologies I am most exahausted. HLKvmmmlllk I am just begging thys here missive and I hath already fallen asleep twice as you maie have infered from the ink squiggles I was unable to erase. jolkjk. Sorry. I drifted off agyn. I am trying syre to finish my dailie recordes sans excessive slumbering, but I and our partie hath been in hot pursuit of yon prisoners for well nye unto 36 hours continously. If this were not bad enough we hath hiked many a mile {NOTE TO THE TOWN CENSURE: WHAT UNIT OF DISTANCE DOES YOUR TOWN MEASURE IN?} through dank ghkljklm sorry, dank dark caves where even our ponies durest not tread.

These caves are fare away to the NNW of Bluffsied. They are alksfhljhjhljk I am awake! As I wath saying they are far away and to the NNW of bluffsied and are home to quite a number of slavers. I seems to me that whomever our prisoner happens to be it is quite likely he/they are in leagues with such inhumane conscripts.ajkhkjsdhkjgkjk, Blast it all I continue to spill what little ink I have left. I am most sorry my liege about the sloppiness of mine epistle, the eyeslids of your servant Newt fill most leaden with heaviest of rocks.

I stronglie suspect the prysoner and the slavers are aenkahoots also under the employ of dorfs, Lvz, Ogres, and a populous of minotaurie. They lkajsk;d Continual apopogies I noded offt agyn. They hath taken advantage of a naturale karst system and hath expanded upon it most ubondantlie. It shall be most difficult to ferret our thier leirs but we sirye shall do our best. For now I must sleep. I will tell you more about our new found companion and ancient fairey lord Lor in future correstpondances, I suspect he we be a most valued allie to have in our cause. It is a curious thyng about thys fairey lord their is somethyng obout him that quiwopry sorry. He remindeth us all of someone we hat met long agoe, yet none of us can place to whom the resemblance is of yon strange new fairy lord.

Dearest Sirye I am yours in all matters of estate however I cannot hold mine head aloft any longer I must snuff mine candle and oiupweqrrrrrrrruiiiiiiiizzzzzz

Sincerely [Large ink puddle].


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