Godswar

Ye Royale Recorde III

My Liege,

As the miles pass the days are blurring together. The leaves are changing and the weather draws colde. For sake of speed we have chosen to bypass the inn and are camping nyghtly. Deare Syr I do wishe to inform you that there are ogres about, or rather there were ogres about in your lands. Three of them. They went by the aliases of Bill, Tom, and Bob or something to those affycts. Beying yon orgres they were easy enough to sneake apon. It has been a great advantage to have one Trylloc in our midsts. He is a mighty bowman and expert wielder of the bowe. Your Hyghness might even consider him for a position in your town gaurd. He was able from a far distance to turn hairy orge beasts into arrow ridden hairy ogre beasts. The ninjae too was of great worth sneaking almost as well as I, but much more adept with the disappearing. Her training has paid off well, though she is quite terrible at concealing the fact that she is a ninja. I mean really, who else whould have a cover story of an alchemical craftsperson if you weren’t secretly creating poisons? And why else would an apothicist be so sneaky. But I digress, the ninja fights well. She downed an ogre by herself. Let ye be disappointed I too did my faire share of bowl ripping, and not in the usual stinky goblin way, but the more gruesome secrety ones. Though I am indubitously grateful for my lamellar armor the citizens of Shoken presented to me on my last diplomatic forray, I have found it is not quite sufficient to stand up to the blow of an orge great club, which for some reason smelled like mutton as it plastered me against yon trees.

After exchanging blows and shredding a few tree tronks the battle quickly swung in our favore. As a note sire If your coffers are missing any gold or electrum pieces I believe I have recovered a significant share of it. I tried to hide your newfounde treasure horde from the rest of our party, but it seems as though they can detect magick, which apparently a goode portion of this treasure is. No sooner having newly found yon great piles of shiney. Than a band of bandits besset us. I would ever so hyghly suggest increasing youre patrols in this area for it seems to be a veritable den of indiscretion and lawlessness. A periodic goode rousing by yon town gaurd would do the hamlets nearbye much goode methinkest. At anyrate we first tried the customarie banter and diplomacy with yon highwayman diplomat which of course proved of no availe. Some of our crew were a bit touched by arrowfletchings and tis a goode thing that ye had the forsight to include a healer, even an apparently possessed demonic tongued healer stil proved her weight’s worth in mythryl. Being the professional dignitary I am I must point out the expert and classy way in wich I handled myself. I assure you sire any rumors you might have heard about me covering hidden under a pile of treasure while hurling nasty insults at the banditry’s mothers is purely rubbish, rubbish I say, and you trust me, being a goblin, I know ALL about rubbish. Nay I conducted meselft with thy utmost of decorum even returning fire on occaision putting up the good show wot wot! Lestwise our party has thus far come through unscathed and we are continuing un to oure afforementioned destinatione.

Also it should be noted I suspect there myght have been something in the water nearby for the tall fellow so dearly obsessed with time and various unknonwn Gods first stays up ALL night then plunges soundly asleep for a week or more. I do think he should be checked by a healer of some sort somewhere someday. All is well.

Your servant in Diplomacy,

His Excellency, Lord Newt, Ambassador to the Eastern Lands, Speaker of Lavangan, Arlyn, Shoken, Shiali, and Goblin, displeaser of Devils Moid Watearth, disrupter of regimes, Gapo San, Master of games and Gaming Mister Terraqu, and finally Ultimate High Supreme Goblin Nabob Squee, disciple of Ichae and Master.

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